What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
