i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
