Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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