so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize