I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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