Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
