Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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