apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
