That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
not ubering you a puppy
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
