he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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