She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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