how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
we're so committed to being not committed
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
