life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
