so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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