Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
