I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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