went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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