I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
