I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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