They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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