I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
