anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
