Pants 0. Shit 1.
Four minutes until I can fart!
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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