he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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