This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Randomize
