He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
