Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I think a kid would responsible me up
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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