we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
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