May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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