are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
