I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
