i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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