Kareoke will never be a sober sport
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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