I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
