Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
