You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
