If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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