no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
