My first STD was from a foam party
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
