He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
