I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
