Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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