I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
You need a sexual gate keeper
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
