Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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