My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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