We're facebook friends in real life
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
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