his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
