We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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