i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
