hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
