...so i touched it.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Randomize
