You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
