Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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