She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
