Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
