can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
