I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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