how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
