Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
