That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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